The porn debate still rages.

One thing I love about being involved in the online feminist community is that, in addition to intelligent analysis of the media and updates about opportunities for activism, you also find yourself having conversations that speak right into your own life and relationships, challenge you, inform your choices and remind you that the political can also be extremely personal. One such conversation emerged recently on a discussion forum I am part of, on the issue of porn. Well really, it was broader than that extending to members sharing very honest experiences of friends, relatives and partners who have visited lap dancing clubs and even brothels. Courageous and inspiring feminists that I have come to know and respect through these online exchanges spoke about their various approaches to people in their lives (usually men) who love and understand them but continue to take their place in the patriarchy through their sense of entitlement to get the odd bit of commodified fanny.

I’m going to leave the lap dancing clubs and brothels part of the conversation for now because honestly, if anyone reading this doesn’t think they are completely hideous examples of the ongoing oppression of women’s bodies, dignity and choices then you probably got here by accident because the word PORN is in the title and you’re only still reading because you’re curious about what the silly little feminists are on about. Thanks for stopping by.

When it comes to porn however, the soapbox can get a little more shaky. To some extent, the anti-porn crusades are more associated with our mothers’ second wave generation. The 1980s saw a counter-argument in the fact that assumptions about porn being always harmful to women was really built on a sexist premise that only men enjoy this kind of sex while women simply endure it. This was a particularly divisive debate at the time but a hugely important one, especially given the wider cultural climate at the time in which censorship and outdated ideas of women’s roles were still rife. However, in the following decade a single invention exploded supernova-style onto the scene throwing it’s stellar energy into every aspect of our lives: the internet.

When you look at the multi-billion dollar industry that has developed from this new revenue stream (28,258 people are viewing internet porn every second) it’s quickly obvious that the liberation and female empowerment the 1980s pro-sex fems had hoped for has not really materialised. The body of work by feminist directors, though interesting and potentially transformative, remains small and marginalised and feminist actresses who speak publicly about their own enjoyment of the work are few and far between. Porn is, perhaps more than ever, a man’s industry made for the male gaze, riven with misogynistic fantasies of dominance, aggression and violence. With a new porn film made in the US every 39 minutes it gives me a real sadness when I look at those girls on the freebie porn sites, so interchangable and disposable, knowing that they’re ten a penny and therefore not possibly getting paid anything near what they might have anticipated for getting repeatedly fucked in whatever way the big man with the camera says they will.

It would be self indulgent of me to go into all the problems associated with the mainstreaming of porn on our TVs and newsagent shelves, and the impact it has on the developing balance of mutual respect and sexual agency between women and men. So I’ll just mention a conversation I had this week with a group of 16 and 17 year old girls I was training to be mentors to the first year pupils. They were lamenting the fact that these younger girls were ’sluts’ and said they couldn’t believe the way they dressed and some of the sexually explicit conversations they had. I found myself advising them to try to understand that things are different now – a mere 5 years on from when they were becoming teenagers. The pressure to be adult and provocative and sexually available has grown immensely in the second half of the last decade and these girls are trying to figure out their boundaries and their understanding of self-respect in a very hostile climate. I went away from that conversation more convinced than ever that we owe it to these young women to start turning the tide.

My last word on this must be directed towards the men, those we love and respect and are delighted to have in our lives. There’s no doubt we have to listen to them to figure out where the cognitive dissonance comes from as they believe and live out all of the feminist values we look for in a person we would be proud to call our friends and partners, but seem to leave this understanding behind when they just want to bang one out. I’m always amazed at the number of extremely leftist anti-capitalist or anti-establishment men I know who will berate somebody for shopping in Primark but continue to consume porn so uncritically. Hmmm. It also seems to me that the biological explanation (you know the ‘I’m just genetically hardwired to get off to this’ one) is very problematic. As instant and involuntary as that response is to “barely legal asian girl – look how much she loves it in the arse” (that’s going to increase my hits a million-fold), I can’t help noting that if Pavlov could make a bunch of dogs salivate on hearing a bell ringing then I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard for the proprietors of the porn industry to pretty much own your balls. They’ve been marketing tits and ass at you constantly since before you were old enough to get a firm grip and have dictated the terms of many of your sexual impulses ever since. What presents itself as an involuntary response is actually preceded by a complex set of automatic thoughts, and while intervening in this process is not easy it’s certainly not impossible. One of the most common explanations I’ve come across for the difference in how many men and women perceive the use of porn is men’s narrow focus on the visual stimulus in front of them while women’s perspective of it is a wider focus on the fact that these are real people acting out real sex acts and subsequently another woman is getting your partner off. I understand where the male focus on the visual stimulus comes from but I challenge any feminist man to justify porn use on these grounds as surely that is the very essence of what objectification is – not a person, just a hole with a dick going in and out of it. That’s the kind of attitude to women that lies at the heart of this whole struggle for equality and for freedom from violence and exploitation.

Object AGM… time for a regional group in Northern Ireland.

Last weekend I was delighted to have the opportunity to attend the AGM of feminist activist group Object, of which I am a member. I’m expecting some of you will have heard of them, given the media spotlight they’ve been pushed into over the last year, emerging as the face of progressive feminism in the UK and attracting the support of many young women who are sick and tired of the climate of sexism and objectification in which we are forced to live.

I’ve been a member for a few months now and have been hugely impressed by their successes. Janice Turner, writing in The Times, colourfully summarises their ‘Stripping the Illusion Campaign’ which brought about a change in the licensing of lap dancing clubs which allows local councils to classify them as ’sex entertainment venues’. It was a campaign won on the victory of common sense over profit – given that clubs are currently licensed in the same classification as cafes, the public responded to Object’s requests for support with agreement that we should call a spade a spade.

At last Saturday’s AGM we heard more about the campaign as well as the even more ambitious ‘Demand Change’ campaign which also resulted in changes to the law after months of public awareness, petitioning and lobbying MPs and Peers. The subject of this campaign was the urgent issue of sexual exploitation which enslaves people, particularly women and girls, in our own towns and cities. Object, in partnership with Eaves, were seeking a clause in the Policing and Crime bill which would render the consumers of the sex trade open to prosecution if they use the services of people who have been forced or coerced. After a lot of work by a relatively small group of dedicated and passionate activists (women and men) Clause 14 passed. And guess what folks… it freaking applies in Northern Ireland too. No shit.

Fiona McTaggart, MP extrordinaire, spoke on Saturday about her experience of the campaign and her thoughts on what the next stage should be. Her feeling is that those same activists who made this happen should work on embedding this change in the consciousness of our communities. As yet, no one really knows about it. It will no doubt be implemented slowly and will require the efforts of local people to engage with local government to lobby for policy to be developed and local policing to call for proper strategy so that those who deserve prosecution for their disgusting disregard for the suffering and fear of another human being can be properly dealt with. McTaggart describes herself as a libertarian but criticized the liberal assumption that the rights of individual women to sell their bodies and individual men to buy them, should not be tampered with. She quoted the UN special envoy on trafficking in reminding us that such liberal ideology is all well in good in theory but it reflects nothing of the reality of prostitution “as it is actually practiced” in every country in the world. Those who call for the legalisation of sex work ignore the facts that have emerged from countries who have been pursuing such experiments over the years. While we are still some way from the Nordic model which recognises the need to protect women and prosecute punters, what Clause 14 does is begins to tackle the demand side of this industry with the potential therefore to cut the constant supply of women and girls brought here under false pretenses and forced into sexual slavery.

Personally, I want to get on board with this. I don’t want to wait a couple of years for NIO to get their act together and filter this through while women in brothels in our own wee country continue to suffer and pimps and punters continue to sustain their pain.

In addition, Object have been conducting regular actions (Feminist Fridays) against newsagents who stock lad mags and display them on eye level, often at the same shelf height as children’s comics. The aim is to have these sexist mags that represent the damaging pornification of our culture, kept where they should be – top shelf, with the rest of the porn and covered to the title so parents don’t have to explain to their impressionable children why the lady has no clothes on and is bending over for all the men to look at her private parts. In March there will be a nationwide Feminist Friday and I think it would be great if Belfast was on the map.

I know a few brave people are keen but I’m convinced there are way more than that. 44 of us protested the UlsterTrader ad. If we organised a monthly activist meeting with Feminist Fridays and plans to lobby for the implementation of Clause 14, how many of you would come along? I’m excited just thinking about it.

An Afghan woman’s defiant voice.

“Obama is a warmonger, no different from Bush”

After spending two days trying to crack the whip here in Northern Ireland with the distance between our two main parties growing ever further, Gordon Brown is back in London tomorrow to host a summit on Afghanistan. Foreign ministers from all over the world will meet to discuss the ongoing war, the instability, the possibility of success in ending both of these and the horrendous mess that is the military occupation in which many of their own citizens are hopelessly embroiled.

There are general rumblings that it is a fairly pointless exercise, with any prospect of ‘winning’ in the sense that our simple little brains are conditioned to hope for, most likely impossible. Political commentators and military experts alike agree that the Taliban (they’re the baddies, right?) cannot be defeated by military means and the attempts to embed a more democratic Afghan government seem laughable when the conditions enabling Karzai’s recent return to power are considered.

My good friend Phil sent me this link recently to a succinct interview in the New Statesman with prominent women’s rights activist Malalai Joya. I’m fascinated by her scathing response to the idea that US involvement in Afghanistan has brought freedom to the people. She is outspoken, courageous and clearly knows more about the reality of life there than we get to see on our news programming – even the Channel 4 news! I wonder if her critics are justified or if her political lens is too narrow, but most of all she makes me feel like I’m broadening my concept of what’s going on there, especially for women. When faux-feminists like Sarah Palin try to distract from the bloody mess their party has inflicted on that nation by proclaiming that at least women have rights now, it’s grounding to be reminded that this is little more than a cheap trick.

Gordon Brown and Hamid Karzai are on Channel 4 news right now discussing women’s rights as I type. 2 million girls in school apparently and women will have a key place in the new democratic institutions. We’ll see. Perhaps it takes defiant women like Joya to remind the world that corruption and capitalism dressed up as freedom and democracy will never deliver for women.

3 leaders of Haitian women’s movement killed in the earthquake

Watching the news coverage of the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti I have experienced something of a horror overload. The endless images of anguished people searching for relatives, bodies piled in mass graves, child amputees in hospital beds crying out in pain, desperate people fighting over water… it has on a few occasions hit my compassion response so hard it kind of short circuited, leaving me feeling not much at all.

It’s the fact that every single life that has been lost or scarred is a world full of pain for that person and their family and there are just so many such lives affected. And when I heard of the deaths of 3 inspiring women’s movement activists it struck a particular chord. Myriam Merlet, Magalie Marcelin and Ann Marie Coriolan were women with every chance to escape the daily struggle of life in Haiti for more affluent shores but each of them had a deep sense of their identity as Haitian women and a vision to improve life for all women in the place they chose to call home. Between them they had already managed to improve advocacy for women, tell women’s stories through media campaigns and research, empower women to expect more from their legal system in cases of gender-based violence and reform rape law in a country where before 2005 rape was largely dismissed as a ‘crime of passion’. I was struck by this quote from Coriolan’s daughter:

“She loved her country. She never stopped believing in Haiti. She said that when you have a dream you have to fight for it,” Wani said. “She wanted women to have equal rights. She wanted women to hold their heads high.”

Read the whole article at CNN.com here:

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/01/20/haitian.womens.movement.mourns/index.html

Holiday catch up Part 3… Mating season at The Menagerie

Happy New Year equality lovers!

I took a bit of a break from blogging over the Festive period for some total R&R and resolved to think only as hard as was required to maintain a quiet existence between my sofa, the park and the warm interiors of the homes of friends and family. However, as every woman will know, even the simplest of existences is gendered thanks to the pervasive sexism that has infected everything we see and do. So despite my best efforts to be oblivious here are some things that happened over Christmas that made me think like a feminist (Part 3 of 3):

3. Me and my man went dancing.

Boxing night is a fun night to go out for a drink and a dance in Belfast and Stu and I decided to venture to The Menagerie for some stonking tunes at Belfast Music Club (a great little night which I highly recommend.) I’ve quite a penchant for the beats when they’re right and used to spend lots of nights going out to see DJ mates play, regularly ending up on the dance floor with or without dancing buddies. So when we found the Boxing night queue to be hideous at the bar Stu was happy to wait in line for drinks and I was happy to throw our coats in the corner and get to it. Within minutes however it was like batting off flies. All kinds of weird drunk little men and boys would hover and nod and wink and then lean in to yell something completely unintelligible in my ear and wait for a response. Now don’t get me wrong, I was not the prize offering that night having not even bothered to change out of the lumberjack shirt and jeans I’d been wearing since Christmas Eve. There was even a hot girl next to me in a lace trimmed corset dancing like she thought she was in a strip club, complete with hair lifts every 30 seconds or so, but the big difference between me and her was that she was in close proximity to a cock at all times. Her boyfriend’s. It became apparent to me that the only criteria necessary for inviting harassment from all directions in a bar in Belfast is being alone.

Every woman I’ve talked to about this has some experience of the mating male moving in on the lone female, oblivious to her attempts to avoid eye-contact and seemingly immune to all the desperate negative energy being wished in his direction. I used to do the whole polite conversation thing but more recently I’ve figured, I’m too old to have to be polite to anyone who looks like I might have been their prefect when they were in first year. So on this occasion I typed “This is going nowhere. Go away” on the text editor on my phone, turned it around and smiled as nicely as I could. For me, there’s something in all this predatory stuff that is about the problem of male entitlement, an issue I’ve been thinking about a lot as major barrier to equality and something I’ll write more on later in the week. Betcha can’t wait.

Holiday catch up: Part 2… Avatar review – no spoilers I promise!

Happy New Year equality lovers!

I took a bit of a break from blogging over the Festive period for some total R&R and resolved to think only as hard as was required to maintain a quiet existence between my sofa, the park and the warm interiors of the homes of friends and family. However, as every woman will know, even the simplest of existences is gendered thanks to the pervasive sexism that has infected everything we see and do. So despite my best efforts to be oblivious here are some things that happened over Christmas that made me think like a feminist (Part 2 of 3):

2. I went to see Avatar.

My expectations of gender portrayal in films are pretty low with even the most edgy, indie offerings from the movie world consistently disappointing me with their lack of insight. By and large, films are still made by men, about men and for men. In the case of Avatar however, I was so completely enthralled by the effortlessness with which the male and female characters equally shared space, interacted, saved the day, made sacrifices and inspired hope, that it left me wondering how on earth a male film-maker managed to get it so right. In a world where little girls are taught by popular culture that they are there to inspire the male hero they love (reluctantly cause he’s usually a bit of a screw up when it comes to relationships) to greatness, maybe knock out a few bad guys along the way but ultimately have to be rescued, Avatar is like a big old subversive spanner in the works. I love Sigourney Weaver as the brilliant scientist and humanitarian who even in the face of death mumbles “I have to get samples.” Michelle Rodriguez is a kick ass Marine with equal amounts of attitude and moral courage and as an actress she lives up to her own high standards:

I don’t want people thinking of me sexually. I don’t want people to be like, ‘She’s hot-looking,’ you know? I want them to listen to me for what I am saying…I had a couple of offers to do some hot scenes in the shower with some guy and to make it real hot and sexy. The next thing you know, I’d be the next J.Lo or something. But that’s easy. I want [success] the hard way.”

And then there’s Zoe Saldana, who like Rodriguez is of Dominican and Puerto Rican descent. She has made an impact on the industry in the last couple of years with her smarts and determination and has spoken candidly about her experience of gender and race in the movie business and the media. She plays Neytiri, the Navi heir to the spiritual leadership of the clan who saves the life of her male counterpart numerous times and saves his soul by teaching him everything about life and nature that he didn’t know he didn’t know.

OK, so the main character Jake is still a boy, but there’s something about the incredible team of ladies he finds himself a part of and the integrity in the relationships portrayed that means it doesn’t even seem to matter. As he becomes a part of them and they a part of him, the hierarchy and power struggles dissolve. There are no frail females here relying on male strength to protect them, and even the proud Dr Grace learns to trust him as they both let down their defensive exteriors. While Jake has a “chosen one” calling throughout, it is only through relying on others that it can be fulfilled and in that sense it is extremely feminist. I bloody loved it. I must confess there’s something about the Navi that may make me a little biased…it’s their bodies. There is a lot of semi-nudity in this movie, animated blue alien nudity, and it is not about objectifying or sexualising or reinforcing the usual ideal of female shape that Hollywood has apparently co-opted from the porn industry. These fabulous creatures are long, lean, athletic, and the women are small breasted, muscular and graceful. Their bodies are not to tantalize or be consumed, but rather to be strong, to rise to whatever challenge they face and to survive. My own personal body image baggage comes from spending my teenage years in a body that I hadn’t quite grown into, lanky and flat-chested I knew from an early age I wasn’t what boys wanted. I wrote this in my first ever gender studies essay when I was 19 about how my involvement in sport influenced my gender identity:

The only time I felt confident about my body was when I was running. On the track I felt like it was performing the function it was made for and even had some beauty to it but the rest of the time I felt awkward and angular.”

So the first female movie character I have identified with in years is a 10 foot blue alien. Cheers Hollywood. The movie is progressive in other ways too, having a male lead who is a wheelchair user for a start, and of course there’s the fact that the American military-corporate occupation on the planet Pandora are portrayed as self-interested, violent aliens who dehumanize those who are different from them in order to justify killing people so they can take what they want. What a fascinating concept…

Holiday catch up. Part 1…

Happy New Year equality lovers!

I took a bit of a break from blogging over the Festive period for some total R&R and resolved to think only as hard as was required to maintain a quiet existence between my sofa, the park and the warm interiors of the homes of friends and family. However, as every woman will know, even the simplest of existences is gendered thanks to the pervasive sexism that has infected everything we see and do. So despite my best efforts to be oblivious here are some things that happened over Christmas that made me think like a feminist (Part 1 of 3):

1. Iris Robinson announced she is quitting politics due to her struggle with mental illness.

I found this story really provoked mixed feelings in me when it broke on 29^th December. Here is a woman who has caused untold damage to the cause of equality for LGBTQ people in Northern Ireland by ignorantly reinforcing the bigotry that makes Northern Ireland a difficult and dangerous place for them to call ‘home’. The arrogance in her misappropriation of Christian teaching is so disgusting as to make me wish I’d never been associated with the same faith she espouses and in all the mess of Northern Irish politics I don’t think anything has ever made me as angry as this single statement:

“There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children.”

So there has to be a ‘but’, right? Well, it’s not easy to find the humanity in a woman who has become so demonised over the past year as to have earned the nickname “Wicked Witch of the North” and be voted Bigot of the Year by Stonewall. But for me it’s right there in her honesty about her experience of depression. My work has one foot in the mental health field and I know the courage it takes to admit even to yourself that your mental and emotional well-being is not entirely within your own control. I can’t help but give props to anybody who sets such a positive example to the millions who suffer in silence. So while in one breath I might utter a steely “good riddance”, in the next I have to feel compassion for her as a woman struggling to find the contentment and balance she needs. AND with both Iris and Carmel stepping out of the political arena it leaves the urgent question of where are the younger women coming through to take their places? When female representation in the assembly already stood at only 14 out of 108 (having fallen from the 18 elected in 2007) losing 2 in such a short space of time is a hefty blow. 11% representation folks. That is simply terrifying.

Also, I have 2 copies of her autobiography if anyone wants to borrow one. Faith Mission bargains.

Do something to help prevent rape in your community.

Here’s the context: rape and sexual violence is a problem. Men and women both experience it, however the most recent stats from the Northern Ireland Crime Survey show that twice as many women as men report having been attacked in this way. The figure is 1/4 of all women who took part in the survey, which is consistent with stats from similar surveys in the UK and USA.

Rape prevention strategies tend to focus on telling women to be more vigilant against attacks by watching how much they drink and not going off with strangers etc. This is partly shaped by the reality of the need to be aware of your personal safety but is unfortunately heavily influenced by a deep rooted belief that women who are raped when drunk or flirting with men are partly to blame. This is seen at all levels of the process involved in dealing with rape from men who assume the right to take advantage of a woman who isn’t able to protest or defend herself, to police officers who do not investigate these rapes consistent with how other violent crimes are investigated, to lawyers, jurors and judges who turn courts into circuses where women endure character assassination, humiliation and judgement if they haven’t behaved like the perfect victim should.

It’s a mess. It is a system that is failing women so terribly that finally the UK govt has had to call an independent review in the shape of the Stern Review to find out where it has gone so badly wrong. It is often messy for men too; any man who has ever been falsely accused of rape will have suffered all the same frustration, pain and trauma as the women who are raped and not believed. Except that those women are dealing with that while also trying to heal from a devastating sexual assault. It’s an issue that divides men and women who choose to see only one set of injustices. I would be incensed if either happened to someone I loved but I make no apology for the fact that my priority is challenging the deep sexism that makes it so difficult for women who have been raped to see their attackers brought to justice. Reporting rates for rape stand at around 27% according to the NICS stats, conviction rates in the UK as a whole are worse than they were in the 1970s and the public are still not convinced that all women have the right to prosecute men who mistakenly believe they have a right to sex with or without consent.

Here’s the plan: All of this mess just described means that what passes for rape prevention is extremely inadequate, sexist and only serves to reinforce the idea that a drunk/provocative/flirtatious woman is a victim of her own bad/stupid behaviour. Flyers that warn women of stranger danger and have nothing to say to men to challenge their own attitudes not only let men off the hook but ignore the fact that over 80% of serious sexual assaults are not carried out by strangers but rather by someone the victim knows. A partner or ex, a date, friend of a friend, a bloke they’ve been drinking with who seems like a pretty good guy… There are numerous ways that women might find themselves in the company of someone who goes on to rape them but the common demoninator is this: it’s never their own fault. It is the fault of the person doing the raping and that is where truly effective rape prevention strategies need to focus.

So having written to the DHSSPS to ask them to consider this possibility and gotten a dismissive response, the next step seems to be to give it a go ourselves. The flyer below is one that we’ve created and hope to distribute as widely as possible by leaving it in pubs/clubs/cafes/gyms… It’s pretty simple, its message hasn’t been focus-grouped or signed off by the soisaytoher public policy department but it seems to make sense. Please print as many as you can, take them with you when you’re out and about and leave a few behind when you go. I’d recommend printing 4 to a page so they’re postcard size. And I’m going to print mine on red paper.

We haven’t abandoned the idea of a collective flyering expedition but having discussed it with a few peeps it seems it will be easier to do it on a saturday night sometime in the new year. Maybe the one after January pay day so we can make a proper night of it! I’ll create an event on Facebook so email me if you’re not on there but would like to be kept in the loop.

And please post any interesting experiences you have while distributing flyers in the comments section below!

Many thanks to Stu who designed this. Clicking on the image should open the full size jpg in another window.

Armchair activism is all very well but…

… if something is worth saying then it’s worth saying to the people who need to hear it.

If you’ve been checking in here at soisaystoher on any kind of semi-regular basis then you’ll have gathered I’m particularly interested in talking about the deeply ingrained sexism in the attitude that women who have been drinking alcohol are in some way responsible for their own rape. I don’t wish to oversimplify an exploration of how men and women keep themselves safe when they’re out and drinking to a point where their ability to make decisions that are in their best interests could be compromised. For example I like the Belfast City Council’s ‘Get Home Safe’ campaign as it isn’t gender specific and it deals with the range of risks that exist when you’re not attending to your personal safety. However, a man forcing sex on a woman where she feels threatened/ he is overpowering her/ she is not physically able to express her ‘NO’ or fight him off because she’s on the verge of passing out, constitutes rape. This is something that I know, I’m assuming you know, the law is very clear about, but unfortunately not everyone who is currently out in Belfast city centre on their 8th pint of the night as they try to survive the annual Chrismas work do, is fully aware of.

Not only is the law clear that a woman who is drunk should not be considered fair game or someone to be taken advantage of but also that men who force sex because they are drunk should not be treated any differently than sober rapists. It’s encouraging to know that in response to the obvious failings in the reporting and conviction rates in rape cases in the UK, the government has commissioned an independent review to figure out how everyone involved in that process is getting it so terribly wrong for women. Today the Guardian reported that the review, headed by Lady Stern, has plenty to say about the use of alcohol in rape cases, both to discredit female victims and excuse male perpetrators. It makes for hopeful reading.

Here’s the thing. I’m getting a little frustrated with just spouting off online and am absolutely itching to DO something to help bring these important developments right to the frontline. With another rape in East Belfast at the weekend a couple of hundred yards from my house I’m more aware than ever that we have a responsibility to take action.

So what I’m proposing is this: a night of flyering in Belfast. Hitting the pubs around Botanic and Shaftsbury Square and taking the message that no Christmas night out should end with rape and the responsibility to make sure that doesn’t happen lies with the blokes. We can tell women to watch their backs till the cows come home but it won’t change the fact that there are men out there who believe they are entitled to sex with or without consent. I was reading this horrific story today about a school in California where an 8th grader pinned a 7th grader up against a wall in the stairway and raped her while other students were all around. Thankfully, in this case, some of them intervened and others went to get help. I noticed this quote from the local police:

El Cerrito police Chief Scott Kirkland said. “It is interesting, the criminal mind. When a situation like this occurs, to actually do something like this … you have to be a little sick.”

and I thought, ’see, this is why they don’t quite get it.’ Because the problem is you don’t have to be ’sick’ to rape somebody, you just have to have an inherent belief that you have more of a right to use their body and sexuality than they have to deny you. And the justifications that perfectly unsick men can find to tilt that balance in their favour include things as innocuous as the amount of legs and boob she was showing, the way she was dancing, the fact that she snogged you in the club and let you have a grope, her willingness to let you buy her drinks all night or the fact that she’s probably too drunk to really put up much of a fight. None of which equate to consent but are often taken to mean as much.

I have 2 flyers in mind, the first being the one produced by NIO which clearly outlines the legal definition of consent and the changes to the law which mean a man has to prove consent was obtained. This is the one I enquired about getting copies of but couldn’t so I’m going to get a bunch printed up. If you think this is a message worth getting out in the public domain please think about doing the same. Secondly, I’m putting together a short postcard sized flyer that will say the following:

“She’s clearly up for it dressed like that.”

“She’s been drinking with me all night and now she’s inviting me back to her’s.”

“She’s so drunk she won’t even remember this in the morning.”

None of these mean she’s consenting to sex.

“ A person consents if she/he agrees by choice and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice.” Sexual Offences Order, Article 3

Forcing sex on someone who doesn’t want it is rape. Taking advantage of someone is a crime that you’ll have to wake up to the morning after.

Any feedback? I’m designing it at the minute so am very open to suggestions.

I’ll post more details on when the first Soisaystoher Night of Action will occur. Please let me know if you’d like to join in and we’ll work on getting a night that suits most people.

I’m not proposing we go up to randomers and put flyers in their hands – more just wander round the pubs and distribute them around tables, toilets and the like. And maybe have a drink or two while we’re at it. If you need any encouragement I’ll leave you with this: When I was waiting for my slot on Seven Days on Radio Ulster to begin on Sunday, one of the other panelists asked me with a grin “So are you a balanced feminist or a stir-it feminist?” to which I replied “Well, I don’t think feminism would exist if there wasn’t something that needed stirring.”

Findings from the Northern Ireland Crime Survey debunk some myths about sexual violence.

Today saw the release of a research document from NIO called “Experience of Sexual Violence and Abuse: Findings from the 2008/09 Northern Ireland Crime Survey” Around 2000 people who took part in the NICS completed a section their experiences of sexual violence and abuse under the following 3 categories:

1. Stalking or sexual harassment (obscene or threatening messages; obscene, threatening, nuisance or silent phone calls; someone loitering outside home or workplace; or being followed around and watched);

2. Sexual victimisation (indecent exposure; sexual threats; being forced by someone to watch pornography; or unwanted sexual touching or groping); and

3. Serious sexual assault (forced or attempted sexual intercourse or other sexual activity).

Now there’s a lot of information in this report, a little too much by all accounts. Just trying to make sense of the summary page made my head hurt a little. I mean paragraphs such as this don’t tell me a whole lot about what might actually be important to understand about the issue:

Among the groups most likely to have been victimised in the three years prior to interview are: people aged 16-24 (18.3%); single adults with children (16.1%); people who are privately renting (14.7%); single people (14.7%); people who visit the pub in the evening once a week or more (12.2%) and those living in areas with high levels of anti-social behaviour (11.3%).

So if you’re a 21 year old single parent renting a house in the Village/Lower Falls/Holy Lands who likes to let your mum mind the kids every Saturday night so you can see your friends down the pub… then you’re really in trouble. Hmmm.

However confusing some of the stats seem to be, this has been cited as the key document to help shape NIO and DHSSPS action plans to implement last year’s Tackling Sexual Violence and Abuse Regional Strategy 2008-13. So if these findings are going to shape the services that are available to victims, the campaigns to help prevent such crimes and the practice of all professionals involved in supporting people, then there are a couple of things that I think could really challenge the way things are currently done.

1. When it comes to sexual violence we cannot afford to ignore the fact that women are a particularly vulnerable group.

Taking the 3 categories together, women (25.6%) are twice as likely as men (12.3%) to have experienced sexual violence or abuse. When we look at the “serious sexual assault category” on its own this disparity grows even further to reveal that women are FIVE TIMES more likely than men to have experienced this type of attack. Five times. It’s frightening to see that on paper, and even more frightening that there are still so many naysayers riding on the wave of anti-feminist backlash who think that activists on violence against women make this stuff up.

Imagine any other single identity group with that kind of vulnerability to a violent crime in our communities… And can someone then explain to me why violence against women is given no particular attention in any Northern Ireland policy or strategy from this or any other department? There are five times more women than men walking around our towns and cities every day dealing with the impact of a rape or other serious sexual assault. When shaping services for those people please have the good sense to take that into account.

2. Can we please stop telling women that they will probably get raped if they drink too much.

I’ve already had a considerable rant about this because if there’s one thing I cannae stand it’s victim-blaming. But get this, our survey says… 81% of people who had been sexually abused or assaulted had not been drinking alcohol. This is a significant number of sober people being targeted and shows the futility of awareness raising campaigns that put the burden of responsibility on women to alter their behaviour in an attempt to not get themselves raped. I understand the prospect of actually apprehending rapists, conducting thorough criminal investigations, upholding fair and rigorous trials and delivering meaningful sentencing that in turn deters other potential offenders, is all a bit tiresome. Much easier to tell women they should be at home knitting.

Interestingly, the public campaign which preceded this publication, Sexual Violence and Abuse are always wrong, contains some great leaflets including this one outlining the new law on consent in the Sexual Offences Order which places the legal burden on the accused to prove that consent was obtained under no threat of violence and with full capability. I phoned NIO to ask if I could get some of these to distribute as I thought that it would prove a necessary balance to all the victim-blaming drivel we women have had to put up with in the run up to the Christmas party season. However, a nice man called Stephen told me with some embarrassment that they weren’t given any budget to actually print these flyers and so it’s up to individuals to make their own copies from the pdf file. Great. That’s extremely useful… clear and illuminating messages that could actually have an impact on how rape and sexual assault is understood but no one thought of putting enough money in the budget to actually print them.

So there you go folks. Perhaps you could email DHSSPS and NIO and congratulate them on a good piece of work, wish them all the best with the new services they are planning… and gently point out the significance of these two pertinent points that have come out of their own findings. Feel free to copy and paste anything that might be useful from this post. They’re well-meaning civil servants after all and I’m sure they’d appreciate our help.